You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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