i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize