it hurts more in the daytime
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
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When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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