You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize