I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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