Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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