Having a random hookup so left but love u
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Never joke about your clitoris.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize