Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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