mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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