wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize