i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize