I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize