well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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