a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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