I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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