So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize