i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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