I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
someone owes me an orgasm
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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