My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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