If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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