I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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