Whoa Z and x make the same sound
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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