she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
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You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
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I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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