Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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