you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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