Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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