you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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