I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize