so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just had sex on a roof
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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