Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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