I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
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Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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