Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize