I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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