i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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