I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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