D3 body, D1 cock
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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