see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize