you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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