Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize