I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize