Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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