he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize