it was like his penis was on wheels.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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