I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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