my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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