He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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