we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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