Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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