we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Are we still banned from the library?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize