I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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