I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize