you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
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Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
tell me about the eggs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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